An offer, and a request

I wanted to blog about dresses today, but it's going to have to wait a bit. I have just received news that sucks, and while I try not to email in an emotional state, nothing says I can't blog.

First, a request:

For reasons completely understandable and personal, our wedding planner has left the project. As much as I totally understand and appreciate that life is complicated, and sometimes we bite off more than we can chew, I am, of course, crushed. I am so highly unfamiliar with weddings, and I do not want to be trying to coordinate everything myself on the big day. So now what???

This type of thing is a risk with our project. We are encouraging people to give of their time and talents (and businesses), and there's always the risk that something will fall through. Many of the most important aspects of our wedding have been offered by new business people, amateurs, or laymen. We love this, because we want to support people in developing their businesses, trade, and skills...so we fear this for the very reason we now have no wedding planner.

So this is my call-out, my request, my heartfelt wish: if there is a wedding or event planner (aka 'coordinator') out there who would love some great publicity, and would like to save our sorry asses from attempting to coordinate, gather, request, and manage this crazy wedding all by ourselves...please contact us. This project takes more improvisational skills and a different kind of work than the average wedding, as we try to do everything with 0 dollars, and a potpourri of donations. It's certainly a potential feather in your cap, and as our planner, you'd be getting quite frequent billing on our blog as we praise your wondrous glory for your hard work and ability to coordinate this three-ring circus. It may be the kind of wedding best suited to someone with some notches in their planning belt.

You can email us at projectpriceless@gmail.com or twitter us (tweet?), or facebook us...whatever you like. If you yourself are not an event planner, please spread the word for us to anyone you know in the field. Let's see if we can't save me from running around, sweating in the August sun in my dress, trying to figure out where the hell the tablecloths are and still demanding to know what an escort card is.

*         *          *

So, now for the offer:

We have a cat named Tabu. This is Brian's cat, that he's owned since its kittenhood about three years ago. Tabu is this lovely blue-grey fella with piercing yellow eyes. He is a cuddly, yet independent cat. When he first moved in, I was happy to have him (and Brian) here.

Unfortunately, we came to learn that I am allergic. Since the allergies are not severe, however (itchy nose and stuffiness, but no hives unless I hold him, and no burning eyes unless I get hair on my face), we have persevered. What has tipped the scales now, however, is that we have finally learned that Brian is allergic. I can't believe he didn't know before; he would be sniffly at home, yet not when he was at work or out on the town, and I asked him about it and he said he's always been like that...that it's an evening thing, something about pollen or the moon or some other vague allergen. Well, a few weeks ago, I noticed that Brian had a large welt on his back. Upon closer inspection, I found that he had a cat hair embedded in his skin. Around the hair had developed a hive the size of a peanut M&M. I gently pulled the hair free, and even applied topical anti-histamine to the spot...yet the hive lingered for over three days. I started asking Brian more questions about his stuffy nose, the onset of such symptoms, etc....and lo and behold, we have ascertained that Brian is not only allergic, but potentially becoming more allergic over time.

Thus, we are looking for a new home for Tabu.

Now, those of you who know me are chuckling a little; you know that I have no special love of cats, and that this one in particular seems to drive me nuts. He's really quite well-behaved, but we got off on the wrong foot, when last year, he ate the feathers off of the handmade Christmas tree ornaments I'd made. People have pointed out that to a cat, my gold-painted sea shells with brightly coloured feathers look like perfect cat toys, and getting mad at him for playing with them would be like getting mad at me for picking up a fresh pencil and applying it to an open sketchbook, if they were just lying around on the table. I get that. I do. But this is why I am a dog person: unless it's food, I can leave anything anywhere. Darcy (my pug) is about 18" tall at best, and too fat to do any fancy tricks, so anything on the coffee table or higher is safe from his snooping; the cat, meanwhile, is currently sitting on the kitchen counter right beside the muffins I just baked. Oh, and WHY do cats have to throw themselves onto the paper you're writing, the keyboard you're typing on, or the craft project you're meticulously gluing? Can they not just wait a few moments for their pats?

Tabu is a good cat. Brian raised him well, and he's been living here solidly since last May, without any problems outside of totally normal cat behaviour that I personally just can't stand. Yet, I've soldiered through, and occasionally find myself stroking his ears when I walk by--then, of course, washing my hands before I touch my eyes. He deserves a home where people don't refuse to cuddle him for fear of the horrors of a hive outbreak.

If you'd like to talk with us about Tabu, send us a email. We want to make sure he goes to the right home...a 'forever' home where he can be loved, cuddled, and adored. If you can help make this happen for Tabu, and for us, please give us a shout.

Here's a picture.

Here's hoping that we hear back on both our request, and our offer. Thanks, everyone...everyday is an adventure, and you all help make that possible. Much love to you.

Offers, Donations, and Gifts: Round 5

We are recovering from the holiday craziness  and hope that you are all doing the same! I woke up Boxing Day morning with what can only be termed a non-alcoholic hangover: I was grumpy, dry-mouthed, and had a headache; I realized that there was nothing fun left to go do, and that I felt sugar withdrawl coming on. I briefly considered going shopping with my gift cards, then read on facebook that Bayshore mall was so backed up with traffic, it was bumper-to-bumper up to the highway. Noooo, thanks. Bri had to work, Mo had family stuff, and really, I had to put some hours in for work, too. It's no wonder that this post-Christmas depression hits so many of us; if you're like Bri and I, you just spent four weeks' of evenings in your personal crafting sweatshop, meticulously gluing, painting, varnishing, cutting, and gluing some more...all this build up for a brief 24 hrs of revelry, gift swapping, and food, and then it's all over. I feel like an addict, craving just one more hit of glitzy decorations, jingle bell-y music, finger food, and wrapped parcels. I have actually considered just wrapping things in my apartment so I can tear them open again, though really, it's the giving of the gifts that I enjoy the most, and if I start wrapping up my lamps and books and giving them to friends, it'll end up being a costly thing to replace all those items.

Luckily for me and Bri, we do have the wedding to keep planning. This wedding is like Christmas, birthdays, prom, and a parade all rolled into one. Of course, this does beg the question: what will we do with ourselves after the wedding's come and gone? No, no...no time to worry about that now. Le'ts talk about the offers...

DECOR

Back at the beginning of December, we received a facebook message from a woman named Margaret Phillips. Maragaret is a decorator that lives up the valley; she's been planning the decor and layout of weddings and other events for three decades. Margaret is too far away to be able to work directly with our wedding, but she's offered her expertise in the form of a consultation via phone, which I am very much looking forward to. She also has suggested that we may like to have her and her daughter, both championship face-painters, come to the reception and paint up our guests...interesting! Margaret, thanks so much for getting in touch with us and I'm looking forward to chatting with you in the new year.

FASHION

Tamara H, my dear derby girl friend, has offered to make me a super-awesome, totally 'me' scarfy-shawl in green, to go with my white dress. She is an amazing knitter, and I LOVE scarves, shawls, etc. I love that this is totally DIY handmade, and I'm soooooo excited about it. Thank you, Tamara! You know you're awesome.


My dad helped us out last week by chatting with his colleague, Helen H. Helen works for a national museum and is the...well, I'm not sure what her official title is, but 'costume and seamstress extraordinaire' is how we know her in my house. Helen has offered to help us alter the white dress into the tea-length geniusy dress I have pictured in my head. Helen, thank you for helping this very special, very important, part of the day come together. I'd sooner wear jeans and a tee all day than wear a dress I didn't love, so for myself, this is a big, big deal, these alterations. Helen, thank you so much and I can't wait to meet and show you what we've got to work with!


OTHER AWESOMENESS

The Biker Church has come through again with something quite wonderful: Pastor Rob helped us to connect with Pastor Marty, and Marty has agreed to be our premarital counsellor. Neither of us are 100% sure what goes down in premarital counselling, but it's highly recommended by everyone who's done it, and we figure, stack the odds in our favour: let's try to do this right from the start, and get our marriage, not just our wedding, off on the right foot. Rob, Marty, and the Biker Church: thank you so very much! I feel I should note that premarital counselling with the BC is always free-of-charge; but not every offer for P:P has cash value...some things are worth so much more. This would be one of those things.

Katie Bonnar is a friend of ours; I met Katie when we bonded over our love of Jane Austen while she served me candy. Chatting with a foxy lady while she supplies me with chocolate and suggests Austen movies? Well, that just may be one of the most delicious moments ever. In any case, Katie has offered her labour for the big day, and we are eternally grateful. Not only will Katie be a major help, but she will naturally add a touch of classiness to the entire day, just by being there. Katie, thank you!!!

Brian made my day on Boxing Day when he came home with a business card for the Holland Cross Dental Centre. Dr John Hill and his wife were chatting with Bri at work, and Bri used to serve them at his old workplace. Dr Hill, out of the blue, offered something that I am SO excited about: whitening and polish for both of us. This is amazing; as some of you know, I have been working on quitting smoking this past autumn, and have now been four weeks completely smoke-free. (It sucks, I miss it everyday, and I'm still grumpy. But I can run a lot longer and I can afford to buy a magazine now and again instead of throwing all my pocket money into buying smokes.) Anyway, I told myself that when I quit smoking, I would reward myself with getting my teeth whitened; I suffered through four years of braces as a child, and I really do have great teeth, so I wanted to fully reclaim my smile in this way. Unfortunately, when I talked to my dentist just last week about it, it turns out that whitening is freaking pricey...certainly, I would have a hard time not feeling guilty for putting that money where my mouth is (ha ha) instead of where, say, my student loan is. I had just given up hope and was considering the less-effective home kits, when Brian came bounding in the door with this wonderful news. Dr Hill, thank you so very much for this. Brian, too, is about halfway through getting some major repairs done to his teeth, something delayed by waiting for benefits to kick in, so it'll be so amazing for Brian to have this whole new smile, with no cavities and now, a lovely bright grin. The Holland Cross Dental Centre has a website you can check out:

http://www.hollandcrossdental.com/

 MORE TO COME...

There'll be a few more offers to post any day now...some really amazing ones, too. Stay tuned, because one of them is also going to offer all of YOU a little something!

I hope you're all recovering from the post-Christmas blues; remember, there's always stuff in the stores, so if push comes to shove, go buy something and wrap it all up and give it to someone. No one says you have to kick this habit cold-turkey. Mmm, cold turkey leftovers....

Over 9000 hits in 2 months (exactly)!

Hey all you blog-savvy cats out there: major big thank you's to you all! We have exceeded 9000 hits in exactly two months. That's amazing; that's an average of well over 1000 hits a week. It's so cool to have so many people checking in on our progress, sending well-wishes, and making offers. You're all amazing and we feel the love!

We're doing our best to keep the site updated; if there's a spot that you want to see updated, let us know--send an email or make a comment. We are not, as I have repeatedly said, tech wizards. I still say 'the Twitter' instead of just 'Twitter'.

Hopefully everyone is having a great wind-up to Christmastime. Even if you don't celebrate a traditional Christmas (happy Solstice, pagan readers!), it's such a nice time of year where strangers are kinder (as long as they're not driving vehicles at the time) and everything is sparkly and lit up. Perhaps it's the season that inspired Brian and I to start our two 'special projects' for this wedding. It seemed like the right time to start them. Check out the tab at the top of the page marked 'special projects' to see them. Basically, we've had requests from a lot of people to let them know ways that they can be involved in the project without having anything to loan or donate. As we have readers from all over the country--and beyond--the 'special projects' may help with ideas.

Note that we also now have a link at the top: 'bulletin board'. This is where we'll post things we're looking for at the moment, fires that need putting out, or other things of that nature. For example, right now we're looking for Christmas lights that people don't use anymore, that we can gather up to decorate the reception. For similar purposes, we also are gathering (washed) tin cans--soup, pasta sauce, that type of thing. They'll be candle holders at our wedding. Check out the bulletin board.

And lastly, we also have made Brian and Jordan-specific zones. This is so I can show you pictures of dresses I've tried, sentimental things I may want to surprise Bri with, etc.,...and so Brian can do the same on his side. On threat of serious consequences, both of us have vowed to stay out of each other's section. It would ruin all the fun anyway, so neither of us is very tempted.

We'll update you on some offers soon. In the meantime, review any old 'offers' posts you've missed by using the menu on the left (we have labelled all posts for ease of research). We continue to work diligently to update the 'items and services' section with new offers and with areas where we still need offers. It's a hard job, so please let us know if we've missed something.

We're so glad you're enjoying the site! Don't forget to connect (and get your friends to connect) with us through Twitter, facebook, and subscribing to the blog.

Oh, and if you've missed any of our media appearances, check out the 'media' link...people have enjoyed getting to hear us on the link to our radio interview on EZ Rock 99.7!

Thank you. So, so, much, truly. Only 8 weeks, and it's already such an adventure.

Jordan and Brian

Just for fun: A little laugh with Save the Date cards

I was feeling the tension this weekend with wedding stuff, while battling a cold and trying to also handmake about 20 gifts. I took a mental break and decided to try out some designs for 'save the date' cards for the wedding date. Vistaprint is a site my mom uses for her business, and they often have sweet deals on all sorts of things that bring them within our $10.00 price range. Anyway, I got totally distracted as I looked through the tons of postcard designs, and ended up making a few to tease my parents with. We went over last night and I said we'd narrowed our choices down to these five:

My mom reacted beautifully; she was very cautious, and gave very gentle feedback about not being so sure about the designs. My dad shouldn't have surprised me, but somehow he still did: he LOVED the baboon one and begged us to use it. Opinions welcome. (And yes, we may do something a bit more serious, but nothing traditional!)

This was fun and reminded me to laugh. For better or worse, of course, I may now have baboons on my save-the-dates.

On dresses, godmothers, presents, and planners.

We picked up a wedding dress this weekend at a very unlikely location: the doors outside of the Bay on the second level of the Bayshore shopping centre. Shannon S, the woman who offered her 12 years-old, 50's-style gown to me, met us with her husband and kids, and handed me the precious item. This is the first wedding dress offer I have accepted, partially because I was quite certain I liked it, and partially because Shannon gave me permission to pass the dress along to a dress charity if it didn't work out--so, either way, this dress was going to get a second life. I thanked her, utterly thrilled to have a dress--any dress, really, but this one is lovely--to try on at home, away from the uncomfortable ornate femininity of the wedding boutiques.

We talked with Shannon for a few minutes, Brian and I, while I held the garment bag containing the dress and felt relief at the lightness of it. (For those familiar with wedding gowns, you know that all that tulle and satin gets heavy, and the pouf-ier the dress is, the heavier it is. The majority of the dresses I've liked on me were ones that were light to carry. This was a good sign.) Shannon shared a few words of wisdom in regards to marriage; this is not unusual these days, and in fact most offers we've been getting have been accompanied by a few wise words from married people. I've actually really enjoyed hearing it as, for the most part, the advice has been quite simple--which leads me to believe, perhaps one runs into relationship problems when one is taking things too seriously or tries to make things too complex. I am happy to follow advice that suggests I cease my overanalyzing; I do enough of that. Much of the advice, however, has ended with some sort of vague statement about it all working out...perhaps because, for those sharing advice, that's the simple truth. Unfortunately, this type of advice has left me feeling like someone has given me the entire plot rundown of a movie, yet keeps leaving off the ending, just saying, 'And by loving each other, it all just worked out.' Really, I'd rather hear the spoiler, you know? Anyway, all this to say, Shannon's advice was the most practical, down-to-earth, realistic wisdom that anyone has yet shared with us. In a nutshell and doing her no justice, it summed up as, seize the day, and if it all goes belly-up, at least you went for it, and life will go on. As I become mired a little more each day in the fairytale dogma of weddings, marriage, and the 'happily ever after' of the bridal industry, it can be really...grounding...to hear such simple, calm advice. At a time when any tiny nagging argument between Bri and I (over dishes, driving, dog walking, etc) feels like we're somehow unworthy of the bridal bliss promised in the magazines (this is my own anxiety speaking, I know that), to have Shannon's relaxed wisdom was wonderful. Thank you, Shannon.

Anyway, I'm on a tangent. So it turns out, we also owe Shannon another huge thank you: turns out, Shannon saw our article in the Ottawa Citizen and had passed it along to Stanley's (our venue), and encouraged them to contact us. Which they did, and now we have a venue and date and we are overjoyed with both. Naturally, between the dress and the venue tip, I found myself giving this (very patient) stranger a big hug. Shannon, we said thank you in person, I know, but not nearly enough! When we got into the car, we were still talking about the serendipity that continues to fuel this wedding project, and the series of coincidences that brought Shannon to read the article, have a great dress, and know of a fabulous venue. I remarked (and have continuously remarked over the few days) that Shannon is our wedding fairy godmother. Thank you, Shannon; we are so happy you found us.

So...curious about the dress? Well, we went to my parents shortly thereafter, and my mom helped me into it. Awesome point #1: I didn't really need help getting into it--a good sign it's not a meringue. Point #2: it's adorable. Point #3, it's so ivory, I would call it cream or mushroom or something, which is wonderful. It's a couple sizes too big, but in my limited knowledge of gowns, I think it'll be easy enough to take in. It has the most adorable neckline I have yet seen. It is pristine. And thanks to Shannon's blessing to modify-at-will, I can see tons of wonderful ways to alter it. Without giving too much away to nosy Brian, who will read this, plans for alteration include: shorter, tighter, sleeves taken up, green, green, sparkles, tulle, and green.

Now, I cannot say for sure that we have THEE dress; Mo has been sick as a dog for days, so I haven't gotten to show it to her yet, and her opinion matters soooo much to me; she will also know if the dress can be taken in enough. As a previous princess-gown bride herself, she knows a lot about alterations and whatnot. We also need to find someone (skilled and experienced, please--I can't let anything bad happen to such a sentimental gown) who can alter it in the various ways I want, plus who will hopefully do it free-of-charge, for trade, or what have you. But I can truly say, this is the first dress I put on where I felt elegant, fun, and yet also, like my normal self. Who is, I always hope, ele-fun, too. I have such a hard time telling if things are going to look good when they're not the right size yet, so I am desperate for Mo to come over and tug it tight in all the right spots. But I have a really good feeling about this dress. I'll keep you all posted.

Moving on...Brian and I went and made a wedding gift registry this week. The barcode scanner is Brian's new favourite toy. We were going into Michael's craft store for some Christmas gift supplies, and had ducked into a home-type store to check for something. In the lobby was a big ad for the registry program. Well, we had an extra hour to kill before going to see my parents, so why not? We found a staff, sat at the registry desk,  filled out the registry stuff, and then grabbed a gun. I whispered to Brian, this is just to practice. We haven't even researched what stores we'd register at yet! And we really don't need house stuff! My comments were met with 'uh-huh' as he practically ran through the store scanning stuff. Brandy snifters, wine glasses, butcher blocks, chef knives...everything went into the scanner. And it was tricky, because as Bri laser-gunned each item, I would think things like, 'But we have knives! Well, yes, those are a lot nicer and would probably cut a tomato instead of mashing it...' Because the reality is, no matter how long you've been living on your own, or as a couple, there are things you have that you'd like to upgrade. I mean, our third-hand toaster still works most of the time, but that sexy Bodum green one is pretty damn awesome...

Brian was smart, and pulled me into the fervor quickly by taking me to the linens; we have several fitted sheets, but none of them have deep pockets to stay on the bed. And they're mismatched because I only buy on sale. And they're not 100% cotton. And they drive me crazy. Like, I hate them and every night before I get into my PJ's, I cast a glare at the bed. Well, guess what, J? Here's an entire wall of colour-coordinated, 400+ thread count, cotton sheets. I had a chuckle when Bri pointed and said, "We need one of those." 'Those' was said with the same tone I use when something on the car needs replacing: I really have no idea what I'm pointing at, but I know it needs fixing. I followed Brian to where he was pointing. "You mean a duvet, darling?" I said, stifling a giggle. "Duvet," he said, memorizing the word. And yet, he was right; we have a summer-weight Ikea duvet which is doing absolutely nothing for us in this freezing temperature. Fine. I showed him around the duvets, explained materials and styles, and we scanned one. By the end of the visit, I was just enjoying scanning things that I would a) never buy the 'brand name' version of, yet would like to get; or b) never buy because it seems frivolous, extravagant, or otherwise irresponsible. My favourite scans by the end: a 2.5-foot tall glass vase that looks like something out of Dr Seuss or Tim Burton's imagination, a set of avocado-green ceramic kitchen items, and a tiny white salt pig. A salt pig was a new term for me, yet my strange Brian knew what it was right away. For $3.95, I may just go buy it myself. I have no intention of leaving all $4600.00 of stuff on that registry, nor do I rule out the possibility that I'll actually do some research before sending friends and family to a particular store(s)...but it was really fun, kind of like circling all the toys you want in the Sears Wishbook catalogue when I was a kid.

These past few weeks have seen me with far less time for wedding planning. It's been a little frustrating, because on top of the usual wedding planning business, we also have our crazy (and awesome) Project: Priceless tasks to attend to. So we're feeling really grateful to have the efforts of Veronica--our wedding planner, another donation to the project! V, as I've been referring to her, is so enthusiastic. It's great, because she's not previously connected to us personally, so all her excitement is unbiased. She knows lots of useful stuff (like, what an escort card is), and she's starting to guide us towards timelines, deadlines, and decisions. I think jumping in when Mo and I are together must be pretty hard, but she's doing well. For our second meeting, I wanted her to get a feel for my side of the family, so I had her meet with us at my parents' house. I explained it: this would be a typical night at the family house, and the extended family is just like my immediate family; so, if she could picture the experience on a scale amplified 25 times over, that's what (my side) of the wedding would be like. I was teasing...a little. But it was a perfect K-family evening: the TV was playing a space movie, the four greyhounds were barking and playing, the exchange students were in and out, my dad decided to try cooking beef Wellington for the first time (which meant that Brian became sous-chef and we didn't see him for the rest of the meeting). It was a cacophonous, chaotic swirl of an evening. And V handled it swimmingly. Apparently she's used to gregarious family gatherings. Perfect!

We haven't had much time, as I said, to connect with V over the last two weeks, which has been weird for me, as I feel like there must be things we are falling behind on or need to connect about. But I have faith that V has her finger on the pulse of this planning process, and will nag at me if I'm neglecting something. I also recognize that the three weeks leading up to Christmas are a hard time to plan anything not related to the holidays. 

Tonight I may buy myself a new magazine and put myself into another panicky spin about floral ideas, decor on the cheap, and dress details. My sweet derby-mate Sandi has enlisted her family to help bring the olive green wedding dress up from It's Your Day in Windsor, and they'll even bring it back if I try it on and find it doesn't work on me. I hope V and Mo understand that they're on call over Christmas, and may have to speed over to my house to critique the two dresses, over and over again.

Note: see December 30, 2010 entry for update on wedding planner status. http://projectpriceless.blogspot.com/2010/12/offer-and-request.html

Offers: Round 4

It has been an incredibly busy week. I think it's the holiday season, coupled with an actual wedding date being set, that is making everything feel really, really busy. We've had some amazing offers this week, though, and there's been a couple offers that took us a while to confirm, firm up, or otherwise be ready to post. Here you go:

VENUE: As you probably have read, we've decided on Stanley's Olde Maple Lane Farm for our venue. Just a quick note, though, saying another thank you to Annette at the Green Terrace B&B; Annette wishes to provide an affordable venue for weddings, with the belief that couples shouldn't have to sacrifice a chance at, say, a down payment on a home, in order to afford their wedding. Thank you, Annette, for your generous offer and also for understanding the financial pressures that can come with a wedding! Check out her B&B at

http://www.bbcanada.com/10402.html

PHOTOGRAPHY: We have had a couple more offers of photography from local shutterbugs. We're still exploring how to incorporate these different photographers in a way that gives them all a chance to get some great shots, without tripping over each other. It's truly an embarrassment of riches!

Lydia Peltz has offered to snap our pictures for an engagement shoot; we may be convincing her to utilize her skills in a more advantageous spot. Lydia's website is

http://www.lydiapeltz.com/

Caitlin Hennessy also offered her photographic skills to our big day. Caitlin, thanks again for your offer and we're happy to share your link:

http://hennesseyladyart.blogspot.com/

Sarah Naegels has also offered her shutterbug stylings. Check out her work at

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bagels/collections/72157624548635976/

FASHION: We have had some really cool fashion offers this week:
First, Figgie Shoes is offering to create a pair of shoes for the big day, for me. I'm soooo stoked. The artist, Deb Thomson, who paints the shoes, is kind of a big deal: she was an artist who contributed to the Vancouver Olympics opening ceremonies. She hand-paints beautiful shoes for brides, and has offered to paint me a pair. I'm soooo excited; what girl doesn't love shoes? This allows me to have a minor wardrobe change: from boots down the aisle, to shoes on the dancefloor. Deb, thank you so very much for this offer. It's a special touch that is certain to make me feel like a rockstar on the big day! Figgie's site is

http://www.figgieshoes.com/

  Here's an example of her work:

I also had an offer of a dress from a local bride named Shannon S. Shannon noted that I have been wishing and hoping for a 1950s-styled dress. Sure enough, her very own dress is something pretty spectacular, along the vintage lines. It's less 'costumey' than some of the dresses I've looked at so far, and Shannon has given me free reign to pimp this dress 'til it's just right for me. I'm picking it up this weekend; if it fits/suits me, we may have a winner! If it doesn't, Shannon has given me the green light to send it on to one of the local dress charities (more on this later). Shannon, big thank yous to you for being so awesome and offering your dress with such complete generosity and abandon. I cannot wait to see it!!!

Also on dresses, I was offered the most exquisite, unusual dress from a bridal shop in LaSalle, near Windsor, Ontario, called It's Your Day. They have a show piece dress: an olive green taffeta Allure dress--one of a kind, never put into production--with beadwork that'd make you gasp. It's far and away the nicest green formal gown I have ever seen, bridal or otherwise. It's Your Dress, thank you so much for this offer that I have now been agonizing over for weeks! Do I want the green dress, done in a traditional ballgown-style look? Or have I lost my mind slightly, and now want a short white 1950s look with green embellishments? Two entirely different looks. I'm having the hardest time! Sarah from It's Your Dress has been incredibly sweet and understanding of my internal debate, and has even offered to ship the dress here so I can try it on before making a final decision. I'm seriously considering, and I'm sorry I can't show all of you the dress, for fear that Brian will look at it; I'm considering adding a 'no Brian' page at the top of the site to show you all things that he can't see. Thank you again, Sarah and IYD. You're way too amazing! It's Your Dress:

http://www.itsyourday.ca/index.html

Next, a funky little offering that I'm super excited about: Bree from bridalgarters.ca has offered to make me a set of custom-designed bridal garters. I think garters are the cutest thing ever, and while the origin of the tradition may be a little counter-feminist, some things are just pretty and fun. Bree's garters are adorable, she makes two identical in a set (one to toss and one to keep), and she plans to personalize the garter to suit my crazy style. Bree, thank you!!! I absolutely love this!!! Here's the link:

http://bridalgarters.ca/

and here's an example:

Along the fashion vein is another incredibly thoughtful offer that really makes a lot of sense, and none of us would have thought of of it: a dress cleaning and suit pressing! Nicola wrote to us on behalf of her fiance Joe Peloso, of Peloso Cleaners here in town. They're known for their bridal gown work. Peloso's offering to clean my dress (either before if it's pre-owned, or after) and to make sure Brian's outfit is looking at its best, as well. Peloso Cleaners, thank you sooooo much! This is such a wonderful, practical gift and something that we would likely have had to do without, if it had not been offered. Their site:

http://www.pelosocleaners.com/

MUSIC:
What well-run wedding doesn't have a good DJ? Well, ours wouldn't have, if we hadn't received an offer! I had planned to set up speakers off my laptop, honestly. Steve from Two J's Music Machine has offered to save us from my laptop DJ'ing, by providing us with a DJ package: music and microphones for the ceremony, music and lights for the dancing at the reception, and numerous other little perks. The offer also states that Steve will dress 'in appropriate attire for the event', so of course now is the perfect time to reveal our pirate theme! Steve, we'll provide the peg leg, but you need to find your own parrot. I tease. Sincerely, Steve, we are so happy about this. My parents are even happier, if that's possible: they had a very modest wedding, back in the day, but they insist that having a good DJ is the key to a really great reception. We believe them. Thank you, Steve of Two J's! Here's their link:

http://twojsmusic.com/

 
FOOD: 
We have had the coolest offer for a snack from a Canadian company: CheeCha Puffs. CheeCha makes a puffy snack that at first glance looks a bit like the standard corn puff-type snack foods, but they're actually made from potato; they're low-fat, and gluten free. Low-fat makes me happy for two reasons: I have dietary restrictions, and fatty snack foods make me feel ill; and Brian is like a bottomless pit with snack food...so for both these reasons, I'm excited to find a new snack food that I can leave around the house with a clearer conscience. (And they come in the most awesome flavours!) Also, I'm really happy they have gluten-free puffs, as I have an aunt who has gluten issues, and I have been thinking about her eating at the wedding. We'll make sure she has some other goodies to eat, too, but the puffs will be totally safe! We're taking CheeCha's advice and serving these up as a late-night snack. CheeCha is providing enough puffs for our 200 guests. Thank you, CheeCha! And a quick hello to Tracey from CheeCha, who is in love with our blog. Here's their link, I suggest you check 'em out!

http://www.cheecha.ca/

OTHER WONDERS:

Martin Gouda is a facebook friend of mine, and he has offered to help us out with any graphic design work we need done. Martin, thank you so much for this!  I'll share more as we find ways to utilize your talents.

Sheila M offered us the loan of her bridal champagne flutes, and the loan/donation of the flutes for the bridal party. Sheila, this is such an intimate, heartfelt offer. Thank you so much. We'll be getting back to Sheila on this one, as we do have family-given stemware that we may be using, at least for the two of us. It's these personal touches from other people's weddings, that always make me warm and fuzzy. Thank you, Sheila!

Body Poets Massage has offered us something truly wonderful: a massage for each of us, the month of our wedding. Ellen from Body Poets, we love you. No joke. I am looking forward to this massage possibly more than any other aspect of the wedding. THANK YOU. Their website:

http://www.bodypoets.com/

That's it for now. I think we'll be doing another offers entry in a few days, though. It's been busy, I told ya! 

We are having the most fun with this planning, and we are completely overwhelmed with the generosity of the community, both from individuals and businesses/artisans. Thank you so much, big wide world, for supporting our special day! More to come...including, I want to write about the experience of bringing in our amazing wedding planner, Veronica; so check back soon! Note: see December 30 2010 entry for update on wedding planner.

Media! A fun (really fun) interview with Renee Madden, EZ Rock 99.7

So just a brief entry to make sure we highlight the super-fun, super-long interview we got to do with Renee Madden from EZ Rock 99.7. This was so much fun, and it was Bri's first time in a radio station, so we were really excited! The interview is a little over 20 minutes long; make a cup of tea, sit back, and enjoy! Oh, and there's tons of mentions of offers (both commercial and individuals) in the interview, some of which are a sneak peak for the next 'donations and offers' post!

http://www.ezrock.com/Channels/ihaveadream/story.aspx?ID=1320198

The Dress...My White Whale

I stood at the foot of the bed, debating aloud what to wear to work. Brian gave feedback that was actually appreciated; he's got a good eye for this type of thing. His suggestions were sound, and would result in a very nice look for the day...but on the other edge of the bed, I had laid an entirely different outfit.

"See? This is the whole problem!" I shouted in frustration. Brian gave me a sympathetic grimace. I was holding both outfits in my hands: in the left, an ephemeral blue printed skirt made from an upcycled sari, so light that I had to wear a slip; in the right, a red plaid tank top, part of a punk rocker ensemble I bought from a Hallowe'en store on clearance. "How the hell am I ever going to find a dress when I am clearly two people stuck in the same body?"

I bought a new wedding book on the weekend, and it has been both a blessing and a curse. It's call The Offbeat Bride, and there's a website, too, if you like. The writer, Ariel Meadow Stallings, is someone I want immediately to meet and be friends with. Her desire to provide a meticulous wedding wedsite (ugh, cutsie names), her insane-in-a-good-way wedding dress, and her opinions on almost everything bridal, are so very much mirrored by my own. Her book is fantastic, in that she is encouraging brides to be themselves and not feel smothered in wedding lore and expectation. I bought it after browsing the Offbeat Bride website for about two minutes. I can't put it down.

So on the positive side, this book is giving me plenty of encouragement to be my non-traditional self. This is wonderful, and I really needed it. On the other hand, I am more afraid than ever that I am allowing my (and Bri's) senses of self to be swallowed up by the often-outdated concept of what a wedding should end up looking like. The book has renewed my conviction that I am committed to my soup-can-as-candle-holder project, and other DIY-looking, punky elements. It has, however made me worried that I've started to settle in certain areas...especially the dress.

Ariel did a lot of research in writing her book, and turns out, plenty of brides don't wear white. I mean, I know that other cultures don't always wear white, and I know that even the 'Anglo-Saxon' tradition is only about 200 years old. But I'm not talking about colourful dresses stemming from ethnic traditions or an insistence on a pre-Victorian dress: I mean, there are plenty of women right now, wearing dresses of all types, walking down the aisle, wearing colours like red, grey, blue, and...sigh...my coveted green.

Ariel's own dress was green, or at least parts of it. To hear her describe the dress without presenting a photo, I found myself picturing this image of a fairy from A Midsummer's Night Dream gone evil. Tulle, and a corset, and colour, and fun. I suddenly found myself demanding to know, just when did I get on the big white dress train (no pun intended)?

I threw myself on the bed and rubbed my face into Bri's shoulder. "You're going to look so beautiful no matter what you were, J; you're always sexy," he said, sweet boy that he is.

"That's not the problem, Bri," I whined, "It's that I want to look like so many different things. And the dress is so symbolic. And I want to be elegant, but also fun...I want to be ele-fun." We laughed at the new word. But it fits.

I calmed down a bit and went to work. I checked over my wedding to-do list, and saw my idea notes on dresses. So far, the white dresses I had considered had not been outside my original vision too much. The only change was that I'd originally pictured an empire-waisted, slinky hippy-like dress, but now I was really excited about the idea of oodles of tulle. Not because it's traditional: because we're going to muck it up and dye it green or something, and hot glue little rhinestones all in it. and pair it with cowboy boots for the aisle walk, and amazing hand-painted Figgie shoes (more on this later) for the dancing. I pictured one of the 1950s inspired dresses I have been looking at, done with a green sash, green petticoat/crinoline, sparkles, and green fabric-covered buttons going down my back. The tongue-in-cheek tradition that I feel comfortable with. Because I do so very much love a theme, and so I'll dress to match the occasion (white); but because I'm never quite what one expects, I'll bedazzle the thing and pair it with a necklace made of mini skulls or something.

I mentioned, in a comment, the first designer I'd found who makes 50s style wedding dresses; I have since found a second. This gives me hope, and a sense of connection with other brides out there: I'm not the only one with a love of the vintage and a distaste for the hyper-Victorian dresses. (Mind you, the olive green one I've been offered has been food for thought...more on this later, too.)

And I have time. Due to the new wedding date, I have 60 days less than originally estimated, but I do still have 2-3 months to figure this out, before I get into rough spots with ordering and delivery timelines. And hey, if the right dress comes to me through a local shop, off the rack, or from a former bride, then I'm golden.

I am, however, more committed than ever that I will feel totally awesome and 'me' as I stomp my way down that aisle in riding or cowboy boots, a kickass dress, and my darling waiting for me at the altar.

In the Media! Brief Overview

Hey.

I have a longer entry to write today, plus more offers to notify you all of, but just a reminder to those who haven't caught on yet: if you'd like to see the list of what media has covered us and when, you can click on the 'media' tab at the top of our blog and you'll get to see the whole chronological list.

We got so busy with the coverage we were getting that we've relaxed a little on posting a blog entry everytime there was coverage; but you all may be excited to hear, we have been covered in virtually every Canada.com-affiliated paper from the east coast to the west coast of Canada (we're still hoping for coverage in the National Post, just 'cause it sounds cool). As well, affiliates of the Ottawa Sun have reprinted Scott Taylor's story. The local papers that have covered us, with writers like Jessica Cunha and Sasha Johnson, are amazing and tell the story in a really intimate way. And the radio stations we've been on--two in Calgary, and one Ottawa Station to be aired this week!--have been so much fun.

When we first got engaged, I told my mom I wanted a traditional engagement announcement in the paper. This was before we'd really begun the P:P idea, and we ended up trying to figure out what the cost of an announcement would be, and how we'd cover it. I think we can safely say, we've now had one of the most amazing engagement announcements in the paper(s), ever!

Take a look at the 'media' tab. Share the links. And comment on this post, saying where you're from and how you heard about us. One of the coolest things about this crazy project is how many people we're getting to connect with. We love it, and we love hearing from you. :)

We have a venue! The debate and the final verdict...

We have had the most wonderful venues offered to us. We've been sharing them as we've confirmed them here on the blog, and we've finally made a decision.We'll detail our venue first, then review the others that we had offered to us.

So, without further ado, we announce our wedding will be at Stanley's Olde Maple Lane Farm!

Stanley's is, with no exaggeration, absolutely gorgeous. The grounds are huge, showcasing gorgeous sugar maple trees and a generous handful of picturesque outdoor spots that are absolutely perfect for a ceremony. We've decided on the 'Stone Steps' for our ceremony, because it will suit our north-south-east-west aisle plan, and allows us to be elevated above our guests so they can see us. 

We will have our ceremony late-afternoon on the steps, then guests (and ourselves) can wander the entire grounds freely, visiting the chickens, peacocks, pigs, and other animals in the barn (did I mention the magnificent Belgian horses?), pause at numerous photo-perfect areas, or head into the reception venue for a drink--spirits, or our exciting donation of DAVIDsTEA tea served by David's staff.

The reception is taking place in the South Lawn Tent; without a doubt, you'll want to take a look at the photos on the virtual tour page:

http://www.stanleysfarm.com/virtual-tour/the-southlawn-tent.php 

This 'tent', which should really be called a canvas house, has a gorgeous front door, bathrooms on-site, and a built-in bar. It is here that we will dance the night away, enjoying our potluck dinner with friends, family, and some new friends met through the P:P project. Guests who want a break from the music and crowd can wander out for a moonlit stroll around the grounds. 

Earl, owner of Stanley's, was the kind and amazing fellow who offered us this venue; to avoid infringing on busy wedding season bookings (which at Stanley's, runs year round--picture a snowy wonderland at their sugarbush!) we have worked out that our wedding will be on Monday, August 22. Yes, it's not a typical Friday or Saturday, but we're totally happy with it. It is a little earlier than we originally discussed--I had a momentary panic attack at losing 30-60 days of planning time--but it's going to be so beautiful, and we won't have to worry as much about Ottawa's wild autumn weather patterns. 

The tent will easily hold our 200 guests, and for those that are thinking this venue is amazing but have a larger or smaller event in mind, take a look at the virtual tour on the site: they have an adorable house on the property with a giant sundeck that suits a smaller wedding with dancing on the porch. And for giant affairs, they have a main facility that can host 800 standing, or 500 seated, guests.

Stanley's is further helping us out by providing tables, chairs, and a bartender for the cash bar. Earl, and Rhonda, who works in the Stanley's office: thank you so very much for making our wedding day even more amazing than we could possibly imagine it would ever be. We wanted a wedding that allowed us to be close to nature without being at its mercy; a venue that would allow us to embrace our giant families wholeheartedly; and a place that would be flexible for our offbeat wedding ways. We are still in awe that this venue is ours. 

Equally amazing in our eyes are the other venues that were offered to us. For reasons we'll explain as we go, these venues were not quite as suitable for our day; but this does not take away one iota from our thankfulness, our joy and appreciation of the offers, and our absolutely positive experiences in communicating with the owners. Let's review!

------------------

Our first offer was from the Herb Garden in Almonte. Learn more at their website,
http://www.herbgarden.on.ca/. As I mentioned before, I have been to the Herb Garden many times for their summer HerbFest, a wonderful gathering of vendors who offer or work with herbs, newage type goodies, and food. I love this festival and since its discovery, I have only missed it once when I couldn't get out of work. The grounds are adorable; there are beds of herbs growing that you can walk through, some of them gorgeous (and all of them making me envious as I recall the scrawny plants I have managed to maintain or maim in my own efforts to be green-thumbed). The ceremony would take place under an adorable white gazebo with guests' chairs arranged on the lawn.

The grounds is full of these shady, gnarly trees, which I immediately pictured Brian climbing as he is unable to pass by a good climbing tree without making the attempt.

The ceremony would be held in the old (original) barn. The light comes in from the logs, and it just has that wonderful woodiness to it.

The grounds would be ours to wander, including an herb labyrinth and a small outdoor patio. My favourite part of the grounds was actually a smaller log cabin that sits beside the main barn: the drying house. The top floor is used to dry the herbs, and the main floor can be used to seat a small dinner party of about 30. What makes this little cabin so gorgeous is the herbs that hang from the ceiling: the entire space is filled with gorgeous, colourful, flowered herbs. I asked Gerry (of Gerry and George, the Herb Garden owners) about the herbs, and Gerry said that depending on the year, the herbs can grow so well, they actually hide every inch of the ceiling. The idea of eating dinner in this space was so nice, and I felt like really, most of the decoration was already naturally supplied. We didn't get a picture of this space, though, so you're going to have to just picture it with your vivid imaginations.

The barn itself is adorable, as you can see.

So we thought this space was amazing. Who wouldn't. There were a couple of minor hitches for our particular wedding plans, however. First off, the barn is an old, original barn. In late September or early October, there is a good chance our guests would have to wear mittens and coats. Gerry and George were amazing and offered us any date in September or October that did not have another wedding scheduled on it, but when we really considered dates, we realized we may be into cold/rainy season by the time all was said and done.

The second hitch: the barn holds about 70 people for a seated dinner. Our moms have just recently completed their guest lists for us, and have been very good at keeping the number as low as possible; but the chances of us getting our guest list below 150 is highly improbable. Counting photographers, DJ, and our own guest list etc., we are probably still at 200 people. There is a large field that Gerry pointed out, large enough to hold festival tents and (as Gerry recommended), guests could play a soccer game or set up some tents. Unfortunately, with no leads so far from P:P on a donation of festival tents, we felt our hands were tied.

The Herb Garden is beautiful, and Gerry is such a sweet, down-to-earth fellow. He and George have owned the Herb Garden for about nine years now, and based on the friendly welcome alone, I would recommend that anyone have their wedding at this intimate, cheery locale.  In the end, unfortunately, we had to decline. I do, however, find myself wondering about other gatherings I could hold in the future at the Herb Garden.

____________

We were offered two other locations for which no site visit was immediately necessary.

The first is the Bikers Church, located in the City Church in Vanier (a neighbourhood of Ottawa). The website: http://wp.bikerschurch.com/,The church was originally a Catholic church built in the 70's, so it's not exactly the stereotypical gothic cathedral; the stained glass is more abstract, and the shape is more rectangular than arched and pointed. I have actually been to this church on a number of occasions: my parents used to attend a particular pastor's services, and I used to tag along some Sundays because Pastor Eric was a pro at telling bible stories like action and romance movie plots. I love a good storyteller. Anyway, I am very familiar with the inside of this church, and it is, in essence, one giant open space. The pews had been removed way before my time, and folding chairs are used instead, which means that any configuration can be made up. There is a raised stage at the front (back?) of the church where the musicians usually play, and the basement even has a full kitchen. Pastor Rob of the Bikers Church offered us the venue for both ceremony and reception. I think this is such a cool idea, to get married at the bikers' church, given that Brian has specifically requested that motorcycles be involved with the wedding. As space would not be an issue, this location remained on at the top of our list for some time. The 'minuses' for our particular wedding vision were few, but important: one was, we were hoping for a certain element of nature in the venue, and the neighbourhood is not the kind with a park close-by for sunset walks. There would certainly not be an ideal location for photos. The other issue was that we very much want a handfasting ceremony, with nods to the pre-Christian earth-based faiths we both have embraced, and understandably, that may have caused some discomfort for the church. I think we may have found some sort of compromise on these issues, but in the end we were offered a venue that offered solutions to these dilemmas, so we also decline the Bikers Church.

------------------

Our next offer was from a Bed & Breakfast in Winchester, about an hour outside of town: The Terrace Green B&B. Annette Angus, owner of the B&B, offered us use of the property for the weekend to hold our wedding. Website:

http://www.bbcanada.com/10402.html

Annette was excited by P:P because her goal is to "provide couples with the opportunity to have a very nice wedding without breaking the bank". Annette stated, wisely, that she ould rather see a couple save their money for down payment on a home. Annette has completed a wedding planning course, and the B&B has hosted half-a-dozen weddings already.

This venue is, as you can see, adorable. Unfortunately for our needs, I would have to break my one promise to my dad in order to take this location: I would being having an outdoor wedding with no plan B for weather issues. So again, we had to decline.

-------------------------
Searching for a venue was our greatest concern with this crazy project. A venue is a huge donation, and we are incredibly moved by the generosity these venue owners have shown. We'd strongly encourage any couple to consider these venues; these people are truly lovely, extremely generous, and understanding of the issue of budget.

While venues were our greatest concern, the search was fun. It's amazing how much a venue affects your entire image for your wedding. Everything from lighting to colours can be affected by locale, much to my rookie dismay...with each venue offer, I would find myself changing my mind on areas of planning that had already been pretty much settled. Couples, beware! Don't settle too soon if you're looking at a few options, and remember that the friendliness of the venue will entirely affect your experience. We wouldn't have had to worry with any of these venues, of course, but that's what's so amazing about this project: the amazing people we're meeting, and the kindnesses being offered to us.

Now that we've settled on Stanley's, we're beginning planning in earnest. I am so excited, and also feeling new forms of nervousness that weren't there before the wedding had become so much more tangible. I knew we'd found the right place, by the way, as we walked around it: Brian's eyes were bright, he was dead silent in awe, and he became very thoughtful. When I asked what was up, he said that the wedding now seemed very real. I loved that, seeing him moved in such a genuine way, and it's furthering my own excitement.

Germs will bring us together...

Nothing will slow down wedding planning--and responsible blog-updating--like illness.

I woke up the other day, feeling fine. Really, really fine, the kind of fine where you immediately start planning your wardrobe because you're going to look THAT fantastic today. It was my last day off for the week (so, my Friday), and I was looking forward to a few hours of wedding planning and blogging before derby meetings and practice. Instead, just about noon hour as I was wrapping up some of the less fun tasks for my day, I experienced the panic-inducing symptoms of a very irate stomach.

I have no intention of detailing the next few hours to you, but suffice it to say, stomach bugs SUCK. Every day seems to bring a new opportunity to enhance my relationship with Bri, however, and this was no exception. Just as I was at the most intense point of wretching, teary, moaning, agonizing digestive misery, Brian came home for lunch. He stood outside the bathroom door and asked if there was anything he could do. It was a moment of truth: early on in our relationship, I had helped Brian through a three-day stomach flu that made Linda Blair look like a girl scout, and I never batted an eye. I did not judge him, I do not look at him today only to find some gruesome detail of that epic event inexorably linked to my mental memory of him. Yet somehow, it's different when it's the other way around. Standing outside the door yesterday, he asked if he could come in, and I said no; but within the next breath I changed my answer, my 'yes' so weak it sounded like a sad kitten. I'm confident many of you out there know that depth of illness where you'd rather just give up all semblance of dignity and have a caring soul there with you, as you're fairly certain you're going to die anyway, and then what will it matter how horrific you looked? 

Brian was gallant. He held me in his arms on the bathroom floor, and when I was able to leave my white-tiled hell, he had put my pillows and blanket on the couch for me, made me chicken noodle soup, and had turned on Gilmore Girls. He tucked me into the couch, gave me my laptop, and told me I had a one-day-only special permission to look at the wedding blogs (from which I have been banned by Mo, due to the overload of ideas I was getting). He made sure I was comfortable before he returned to work, and when he came home a few hours later, he made me scrambled eggs and toast, and surprised me with something wonderful: he'd found a favourite movie of mine at the grocery store in the bargain bin--a movie I have not been able to find anywhere in the city! ('Dave', before you ask...an oldie but a goodie.) It felt as if letting him care for me through something as vulnerable as digestive pyrotechnics had actually brought us closer together; like sharing that level of trust was another step on our path together as a couple...albeit a horrific, unappealing step, but a step nonetheless. We lay on the couch together, Brian keeping me supplied with tea and crackers while I shivered and repeatedly apologized for being so disgusting. Brian passed no judgement, took tender care of me, and carried me to the bedroom like a Harlequin heroine when I was ready for bed.

Sometimes a mate does something so incredibly sweet for you, you're certain you could not ever fully return the favour. Taking care of me, as he did, is definitely one of those instances. I thought all day today about what I could get, make, or give him that would express my undying love and gratitude for his kindness. All I have been able to think of so far is to lavish him with kisses, which I have been doing quite diligently all evening.

He's smiling at me adoringly now, so I'm going to take my leave from the internet for the night. We will get back on track shortly with entries detailing offers, venue visits, and more. In the meantime, if you have a special someone, I heartily recommend cuddling up with them right now.

A realization....

The last week I have come to a massive realization: the fact that our project is working, thanks to friends, new ones and old. We went into this project thinking wouldn't it be nice if someone helps us out, lets us borrow a set of vases that were collecting dust, or an aspiring artist might get two more people looking at their art; but as this project grows and grows it's incredible to think about how kind everyone has been. We have received well wishes from across the country, and showings of support from around the world. people have donated their time and people keep looking at our blog. This has allowed us to promote people's work to over 6,000 people now.

It is awesome to think that because two people are getting married, a ton more are getting businesses started, people's work is generating interest, and random acts of kindness are still happening.

Thank you everyone for allowing us the opportunity to have all these amazing things happen; I can't wait to see what the next nine months bring.

Brian from Project: Priceless

4500 hits on our blog!

Just a quick note of thanks to all you awesome people out there who have checked out our blog over the last month and four days. We have managed to track 4500 hits thus far (with a couple days where the stats tool broke, so we estimate much higher, easily 5000), and that's amazing. Thank you so much for the support, the interest, and the participation in our experiment. You all rock!

xoxo-Jordan and Brian

The Big White Dress

 I spent a day this weekend in Montreal, looking at wedding dresses at the Plaza St Hubert, a huge outdoor mall that is literally super-saturated with dress shops. Bri was in training, Mo couldn't come, so I went by myself. I packed some cookies, a water, and a map. I brought my notebook to make notes on styles and shapes. I was as prepared for this event as I could possibly be.

My first mistake was walking into the first store without a clear agenda in mind. In the past week, a little voice has been whispering at me, "I want a white dress". I have shushed this little voice every time, yet here I am amidst the largest array of white dresses I have yet seen, and I can't stop myself from thinking, maybe white isn't so bad...

I'll skip ahead for a moment and tell you, I saw a wide range of green dresses at the Plaza, all shapes and sizes, many identical in cut and fabric to the wedding dresses. I hated them all. The greens looked weird, I kept thinking 'leprechaun', and it just made me sad. I also kept having one nasty blog poster's comment play over in my head (something about 'A green dress? So tacky!'), which was demoralizing and made me realize just how stressful this little taste of fame has been, such as it is.

I realize now that my picture of a green dress was meant to be only if I completely eschewed the wedding dress silhouettes and fabrics. I think I pictured a dress like Kate Winslet's in Titanic, the one she wore the night she tried to jump off the ship--which I recognize is probably not the best imagery to connect with one's wedding. Either way, I have now tried on a rather large number of white dresses, and I find that I'm leaning heavily towards this colour. I could walk you all through a dozen rationalizations for this decision, rationalizations that have been assuaging my own concerns that I've lost my mind, but the simplest one is this: I decided my mantra for the wedding is, 'I acknowledge tradition, I just want to muck it up'. If this is true, how better to do that than to take a white dress (I acknowledge), then pair it with leather riding boots and a motorcycle jacket (I muck it up)?

Anyway, with this new, and still tentative, decision to consider white as an option for my dress, I entered the first store with my ideas of the perfect dress once again unclear. I offered the saleswoman a range of confused suggestions as to my taste and style, and ended up in a crystal-studded a-line strapless number that made me look fantastic...but left me feeling detached from the reflection in the mirror. I did manage to try on a simple, tulle-less trumpet-silhouette* dress, with a lace sheath, that I had been eyeing in a magazine, and I loved it; but the 'fun' was really lacking. I looked sombre, somehow, or very au naturale. You know, not the naked kind, but the 'I just rolled out of bed and found this pretty dress in my closet, so then I went and picked some wildflowers while wandering around looking pensive' kind of au naturale. Waifish. Which is great, but not the spirit of the wedding.


After a few more attempts, I found a shop with a small selection of knee- and tea-length dresses. I tried them on, and immediately felt focused again, like a compass pointing north: tea-length is what I want. Great. Nevermind that the two she had looked odd on my hips. The shape was almost right and if we stuffed a crinoline underneath...yes, there it was, almost right. That Audrey Hepburn-meets-Donna Reed look that was both elegant, and party-worthy. So close! At the same store I tried on a yellow (bad, dog-pee-in-snow yellow) dress with navy blue embroidery. The colours made me despair, but the neckline was a true sweetheart with a halter-style strap, a fitted waist, and then a larger skirt. If it hadn't been floor length, it would have been near-perfect. I could feel I was close, soooo close to finding what I wanted.

I entered the next few stores promising myself that I would not even glance at a dress that was longer than tea-length. That worked for about ten seconds, until I realized what was missing from the dresses I'd been looking at: sparkle and texture. So I found myself searching through racks of cathedral trained dresses again, unable to walk away.

The reality is, I look good in almost any dress. I have a small figure with curves where they should be and modestly proportioned. I have a pretty face, and my dark hair and eyes seem to go really well with the light fabrics. With virtually every dress I've tried on, the saleswomen have been amazed at how good I look. I know this sounds pretty conceited, but it's not meant to; it's a fact, and it's actually making things harder. (I know, poor girl, eh? Sorry.) How do you choose a dress that reflects you and not just end up with a dress that is really stunning because of how it looks on you? With growing despair, I realized that I could walk out of any of these stores with almost any dress and look great, which meant there were way too many options. And of course, there was the issue of how this dress will happen: will I be offered a donated dress that's just right? Will I find a designer or shop that wants to donate? Here's hoping. Though I have admitted to myself and to my family that the dress is the one area I may end up paying for (somehow) myself, I want to believe that the right dress will come out of this crazy project without my meddling.

On the verge of a panic attack, I told myself that I would just have to come back to Montreal, and the Plaza, sometime soon with Mom and Mo. Clearly I was not able to handle this by myself. I was absolutely not going to look left or right...oh, I know that shop name! Well, I'll just peak in...

Ten minutes later, I am standing in a borrowed bustier and my pink striped panties while a little old woman (highly reminiscent of Miss Celine** from the Gilmore Girls) maneuvers giant dresses over the top of my head. She puts me in a dress that sparkles with tiny crystals, sits at my natural waist, and then plumes out around me like a ballgown from a black-and-white film. She says something, addressing me as 'the bride', and I stare at the myriad reflections of me bouncing between the surrounding mirrors. I am the bride. I am the bride. I am a bride. I don't know why it hit at that moment, why my mind dwelled on the word, rolling it over on the tongue of my consciousness like a new flavour; but it suddenly seemed more tangible, not quite in my grasp, but so close...the fingers of my mind grazed the edge of the concept, and for a brief moment, I wasn't standing with this woman in a high-end boutique in Montreal. I was surrounded by green trees, in a big tent, laughing with my guests and giving my sweet Brian adoring looks.

It wasn't the perfect dress, of that I am certain. It was, however, a wake-up call. I definitely wanted a dress I could feel connected to, and a vintage look was calling to me. In that dress, the image of myself and the image of a bride overlapped and very nearly aligned themselves into one three-dimensional picture. But not quite. I took off the dress with a sigh, asked for the serial number, and left.

I managed to keep my head down the rest of the way along the Plaza. I was starving by this point, having exceeded four hours of searching and completely missing out on lunch. I stopped for a sandwich and reviewed my map, deciding to walk back to the hotel despite the fact that in the morning, a concierge had convinced me to cab it down to the mall. It hadn't seemed that far as I noted our path through the city, so I decided to gamble and walk back.

Five kilometers of walking, after four hours of shopping and carrying a laptop bag stuffed with a computer and magazines, is not a lot of fun. My advice for other brides: splurge on the cab.

I had over an hour of walking to think about the dresses, and I did so. Mo was unreachable for texting on the subject, and my mom's phone is possessed, so I never know if she's getting my texts or not. I let my mind review the dozens of dresses, and I came to a few conclusions:

1. I want the Audrey-meets-Donna look: tight waist, crinoline-widened skirt.
2. I am not afraid of white.
3. I will personalize the dress with green tulle and crinolines and sashes and maybe gloves.
4. I like texture, especially lace, but I'm also happy with embroidery.
5. I want sparkle!!!
6. Tea length is a must.

I dreamed that night of the wedding gowns. It didn't help that the bed linens in the hotel were all white, and that the cover felt exactly like taffeta. I kept picturing the old lady at the last boutique, the endless tunnels of tulle and mesh from which I was birthed as she pulled me through the top of each dress. I obsessively counted beads and pearls, I waded through unnavigable seas of crinoline. I woke up with some sort of dress shopping hangover.

But then something amazing happened. I turned on my computer and checked Twitter, curious to see who was up and about. A link to a link of a follower's led me to a website. The website is of a little dress shop in the UK. The shop specializes in swing-era 'circle dresses' with sweetheart necklines, halter straps, and petticoats. Coloured petticoats. O my. And upon further searching, they have a wedding dress:


1. It is the quintessential Audrey-meets-Donna look: tight waist, crinoline-widened skirt.
2. It comes in white and ivory.
3. I can personalize it easily with a green sash, green petticoats, green gloves, green bolero...
4. It is LACE. Lace overlay with shiny satin under.
5. I could easily add sparkle to the dress with minimal effort.
6. It is an absolute perfect tea length.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this dress all day. I estimate it will cost, in Canadian, 170.00. Then, of course, the green crinoline/petticoat, which I'll have to search for or make. So really, for about the cost of the average bride's hairdo, I can have THEE dress. There, I said it: THEE dress!

I had better give it a couple days. Because maybe I'll see something else I like better, right? Yeah. Surrrre. I am going to close the website right now. Not another click. I am absolutely going to stop looking at all the pictures of it. Done and done.

Yup.


*tulle: I have learned the correct spelling, though 'toile' is also a fabric. I am becoming well-versed in the world of ballgown materials, to my delight and dismay.

**Miss Celine, for those who don't know: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq_BpvzldAk

Offers: Round 3, Part 3 (of 3)

Part 3 of 3, of Round 3 offers! Read down the site to see all three entries, detailing the offers we got this week.

PHOTOGRAPHY:

Sam Jazzy was mentioned, I believe, in our first posting of offers. Sam Jazzy is a friend of us both, and has taken photos all over the city. Refer back to our first ‘offers’ list to read more. Sam, we love you and thank you for your kindness in offering your skills to our big day.

Adam Pap is a new offer this week. Adam is about our ages, and is just getting into photography. Turns out, he’s kind of amazing. Adam, we’re going to let your photos speak for themselves. We are so very excited to have you photographing our wedding. Adam’s awesome pics can be seen at http://photosbyadampap.com

So we’ve also had a couple other photography offers that we aren’t ready to post yet, but here’s what we’re planning to do: I have a soft spot for new photographers, having been raised by one (hi, Dad), and I know how hard it can be, spreading the word about your photos and yourself. So I’m really loathe to turn down any photographer. I want to promote you, and I want you to have a venue to showcase your work! And how cool would a photo album be of one wedding, as seen by, say, four different photographers? So shutterbugs, keep your offers coming. We’re going to work out a plan that makes this possible, ‘cause what we’re thinking is, we’ll have each photographer focus on a different part of the big day, or different events leading up to the big day, or some sort of similar arrangement. Let us talk it over, figure out logistics, and get back to you. But we’re happy to take on a couple more offers.

PLANNER:

Ah, our saving grace: Veronica. Veronica has offered her services as a burgeoning wedding and event planner. I will talk more about Veronica later in the month, as we will be having a meeting (her, I, Brian, and Mo’) at that time. Then I’ll know lots more and be able to share more. We want to be sure everyone feels like this is a good fit before proudly proclaiming her our event planner, but I have a good feeling. And we need the help. Like, BADLY.
Note: Veronica resigned from her position as wedding planner for personal reasons.See December 2010 posts for info on our search for a new planner. http://projectpriceless.blogspot.com/2010/12/offer-and-request.html

EXTRA COOLNESS:

Brian, as you know, works for DAVIDsTEA. DAVIDsTEA is this amazing chain of tea stores that is exploding across the country. They sell loose-leaf tea by the gram, and tons of amazing tea accessories. Their teas are amazing. Seriously. No bias here. I am a tea lover and would tell you if the tea wasn’t great. Okay, I might not say that here, but I wouldn’t lie to you, either. It’s really, really great tea. The flavours are excellent, there isn’t a bunch of filler in everything, and you don’t get that biting, bitter aftertaste that you get from bagged tea. You can order some online if you haven’t got a David’s in your neighbourhood yet, but give it time: the company is opening dozens of new stores in the new year. Anyway, all this to say, DAVIDsTEA is donating goodies for our big day. We want to better confirm exactly what, but so far we’re understanding that we can have David’s staff on site serving tea to our guests. We think this would be such a cool addition to that ‘cocktail hour’ that apparently is a part of every wedding, yet I have failed to ever notice! So let’s make it fun, and serve really awesome teas to our guests while they mingle. Thank you, DAVIDsTEA! You rock. http://www.davidstea.com/

Also in the ‘extra coolness’ category is a gift from the girls at Lululemon, Westboro location. They’ve offered to make up personalized tees for the wedding party (ie. ‘bride’, ‘groom’, ‘best man’, etc), and they’re donating two pieces of luggage to us for our honeymoon. How cool are you guys?! Thank you so much, ladies. You literally surprised me speechless that day.

And lastly in ‘extra coolness’, we have Kaitlin W. Kaitlin knows Brian from his last workplace, and heard about us through the media coverage. She has graciously offered us labour. I got so excited about this, Kaitlin! She has offered to help out with tasks before, or during, the wedding…anything from addressing invites, to serving food. Kaitlin, your offer is so heartwarming and we think you’re awesome. Thank you so much and we will, no doubt, take you up on your offer.

Oh, one last thing: a general shout-out here to everyone who has sent us advice on where to find things cheap, how to cut costs, and warnings on wedding pitfalls. I’m trying to keep track of you all but it’s not easy. If I haven’t responded to you yet, hear my big ‘thank you!’ right now! Advice is always good.

VENUE

We have been graced with several venue offers in the last week or so. It’s amazing how much the venue affects every aspect of a wedding—the theme, the look, the date, the setup…wow. We have not yet decided on a venue, nor are we turning away any new offers. But the offers we’ve gotten are for awesome places…

The Herb Garden was our first offer. The Herb Garden is located in Almonte, Ontario, and is super duper cute. I have been there many times for their yearly HerbFest, a wonderful gathering of vendors and music and food. They have offered us their wedding venue, a cool antique barn, and of course roaming rights of the herb gardens and land. I cannot do this place justice by writing about it; it’s the kind of place where you see unique butterflies, and herbs so pretty you want to roll them between your fingers to smell them. They have an adorable gazebo that, if the weather is good, can be the focal point of the ceremony.

We have to set a time to meet, but it’s looking like there’s a few quirks to take into consideration, given our budget (ha!) and some of our senior family members. Almonte is out of town for us, so it may be a little difficult to get some of our older family members out there. We need to rent bathroom facilities, something I know nothing about. And if the weather is cold next fall, the barn is not heated. Oh, and we’ll likely only fit 90 guests for dinner. We’re discussing with our moms to see what they think, and we’ll have to really debate. I love this venue. Gerry and George, thank you so much for your kindness. I absolutely adore your property! It’s beautiful and I feel a connection to it. Sigh. Check it out at http://www.herbgarden.on.ca/

Stanley’s Olde Maple Lane Farm in Edwards, Ontario (not far) has offered us their South Lawn Tent location. Go to www.stanleysfarm.com and look at the virtual tour page; the map will show you the area, and there are photos. All I can say is, WOW. I have never seen such an amazing tent. We are gobsmacked by the beauty of this location. We have tons of questions, and need to meet with Stanley’s staff to iron stuff out. So far, the only quirk we know of, is that Stanley’s is offering us a Wednesday in late August. Fair enough, as this is free of charge…but how angry will friends and family be? We really need to meet with them and then we’ll get back to you with more news. Stanley’s, thank you for this amazing offer.

Lastly, we have had an offer from pastor Rob at the Bikers' Church, to use the church itself. We still have to find out more details on this one for sure, including whether we’re able to use it for both the ceremony and the reception, or just the ceremony. We’re eager to hear back. I have actually been to this church, as my parents used to attend service there when a different ministry was using the building (the church itself is known as the City Church, in the Vanier neighbourhood). It’s huge. Like, enormous. No pews, so it’s perfect for any four-aisle set-up, and it’s familiar, which again makes me happy. Brian hasn’t seen it yet, but as I touched on earlier, we like the fact that while it’s a church (not our original plan), it’s the biker church. My mom, as well, says Rob (who has also offered to officiate) is quite cool. He looks quite cool; check out their site: http://bikerschurch.com/ Rob, thank you for your generous offer and we hope to chat more with you soon. Truly, I think this is such a very cool offer!

We’ll have another offer to update you with in a couple days…we just need a bit more detail to be sure we’re representing properly.

*     *     *

That’s all our offers for now…at least, the ones we’ve confirmed. I’m working on compiling a page just of items/services that go into a wedding, and putting the names and offers with them. Then we’ll be able to see where we’re missing offers more easily, and you readers can more easily reference anything you’d like to.

We’re really happy with the mix of independent and commercial donors thus far. We also really like that we’ve gotten offers from people just starting out in the field. This is the kind of thing we were hoping for! Reciprocal helping is so important, and surprisingly easy. And for those non-commercial donors, we love you so much; you come to our project from that part of the heart that has nothing to do with personal gain, and everything to do with spreading kindness. Thank you to everyone. This is really, really shaping up!